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Tuesday
May252010

REVIEW: MacGruber

I had a feeling that ticket supply might surpass demand when I noticed I was the ONLY person speed-walking from the N train to the cinema in order to buy MacGruber tix 45 minutes before showtime on opening night. 

"Two for MacGruber," I instructed the teenage girl working the booth (who was super bored), "It's not sold out yet.. is it??"

"No."

"Oh, thank God... the last one sold out probably, right?"

"Uh... no."

She slid me some stubs and went back to sexting. I had time to kill so I stopped by a liquor store and picked up two pocket-shaped bottles of Jim Beam and loitered at a nearby Duane Reade, paging through the latest GQ while I waited for my friend Kelly, who showed up, predictably, 15 minutes after the start of the movie. She brought with her some pretzel rods, a bag of jelly beans, and 2 bottles of cola for the whiskey.

We settled into our seats and concocted refreshments just as a gratuitous soft-light love scene between MacGruber and Vicki played out on screen. As sultry music swelled in the background, Vicki poked MacGruber's hairy belly button, he gnawed on her willowy toes, there was a shot of a glistening butt, and then a cut to a horrific wide shot of MacGuber grunting and going to town. You can see Kristen Wiig look away from the camera to laugh as Will Forte coos into her face, "I'm gonna fill you up."

The following chain of events in the movie made very little sense because I realized this Loews we were in had foolishly put two MacGruber screenings side by side and we were in the one that started over an hour ago. What's up with that!

So we scurried into the half-full theater we were supposed to be at in time for a sight gag of MacGruber assembling incognito WWE superstars like Chris Jericho, Mark Henry, and the Great Khali for an anti-terrorist dreamteam to take on MacGruber's nemesis, Dieter Von Kunth. Years ago, Dieter had jealously blown up MacGruber's bride-to-be and MacGruber had vowed to exact revenge one day by "ripping off Kunth's dick and shoving it down his throat."

The WWE appearances explain last month's 2-hour MacGruber advertisement on Monday Night Raw, but they don't explain why no one else laughed at the aforementioned gag besides me.  Did wrestling fans/the target demographic forget this movie was coming out?  Maybe no one got the WWE reference, like this turd from the NY Post. There was no time to dwell on it too much because the wrestlers' roles were cut into cameos as they all perished one scene later in an unfortunate exploding van accident which left MacGruber helplessly pacing and muttering, "No no no no no no!"

Anyways, the film was doused with tons of ridiculous MacGruberisms like, "You think your shit don't stink. But guess what? It does. And it smells like shit," and fun-liners like the ghost of Maya Rudolph moaning, "Wow, wow, wow," in a second gratuitous sex scene.

The strength of MacGruber lies in Forte's killer timing and the character's banal idiocy in the face of grave danger--all of which was gratifyingly speckled throughout.  The script is explosively funny and there was great online buzz, so I'm not sure if Relativity Media dropped the promotional ball or what.  By the time we made our 3rd move to an even-more-empty theater to catch the very beginning of the movie, my suspicion of a dismal box-office opening was all but confirmed.

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Reader Comments (1)

Considering that I adore everything Jorma does, I found it disappointing. I think the trailer ruined it.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSavant

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