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Entries in Blob (1)

Tuesday
Aug172010

10 Common Blob Problems

By: Nate Sloan

Blob launching: seems like fun, right? Wrong. It might look like a blast to leap onto a floating balloon and careen your friends into the next county, but a closer look at this new IT-boy of summer pastimes reveals a darker side: one that's plagued with logistical nightmares and other annoying stuff.

1. You need to lease a separate apartment just for blob storage.

2. No 3-story seabridge, no party.

3. If you start blowing air into it in April, it won't be fully inflated until September.

4. You have to remove your diving cleats before jumping.

5. Most people break their necks upon impact with the blob.

6. Blob accidents just replaced Razor scooter accidents as the leading cause of preventable death among children.

7. It's impossible to know if someone's your true friend or if they're just using you for your blob.

8. If you can hold out til Summer 2011, the next wave of blobs all come with built-in AM/FM radios.

9. The coolest person at any blob party weighs 400 pounds.

10. It's futile to try and move one.