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March 8, 2006
Yanni Didn't Punch Out His Girlfriend, Max Weinberg Yarn Explains Why
By now, it must be ingrained in the collective consciousness, that New Age keyboardist Yanni stands accused of pimp-smacking his girlfriend with his legendary hands. In Yanni's defense, his lawyer, Orlando Gonzalez, stated, "He absolutely is not guilty and did not strike that woman," adding, "the last thing this man would want to do is hurt his hands."
Truer words were never spoken. In fact, this reminds The Apiary of a tale told to us by an intern for Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Picture it: It was in the early Autumn of 2002 in New York City. With the rustling, cool and crisp winds, came a new class of freshmen and wide-eyed interns ready to make it in the Big Apple.
Across the Hudson River in New Jersey, Max Weinberg was preparing for an epic tour with Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street band. Max had some things around the house he needed taken care of, more specifically, and for reasons unbeknownst to us, the movement of a large number of heavy slabs of granite from one part of his home to another.
Max had asked around the Late Night office to see if anyone was willing to help with his yardwork--a modest sum was to be paid upon completion of the full day of tasks. Eager to show their willingness to do whatever it takes to succeed, two interns bravely accepted the job.
After an arduous journey, the interns arrived in New Jersey where Max Weinberg lives. Max Weinberg directed them to a place where the weighty, ominous rocks lay. To show them how to properly move the slabs, and because the slabs required careful maneuvering through tight spaces, Max assisted with the lifting and the transport of the first couple.
Then, disaster struck.
Max Weinberg's hand got stuck between a rock and a hard place--literally.
He emitted a howl of despair. The shocked interns stared in horror, not knowing what to do while Max Weinberg's future flashed before his eyes. Without his gifted hands he could never again play the drums, he could never again lead the Max Weinberg 7, he could never again go on tour with Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street band.
Through the grace of God, feeling returned to Max's damaged fingers and it was said Max even tapped a nearby drumstick to test out his carpal mobility. Max's hands were okay! The visibly shaken interns resumed work and everything went back to normal.
When people run up and say to The Apiary, "Can you believe Yanni punched out his girlfriend?!" The Apiary feels for the flamboyant megastar and knows, it simply can't be! A musician's talented hands are his bread and his butter.
Posted by The Apiary at March 8, 2006 12:48 PM
Comments
are you saying that James Brown didn't karate kick his ex-wife either?
Posted by: m at March 9, 2006 1:20 PM
That's a good point.
Posted by: Nate at March 9, 2006 3:52 PM
It's not a defense... it's a statement people. This nutcase of a woman just wants money and this is her only way to get some because he dumped her! Orlando Gonzalez will surely get him off... he is one of the best attorney's in florida. I know that from personal experience!
Posted by: palm beacher at April 6, 2006 10:50 AM