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Los Angeles Comedy Festival Demands Your Various Forms Of Comedic Entertainment!

Listen up, maggots!If you ladies and gentlemen leave our island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon of hilarity. You will be a minister of comedic hijinks praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even Carlos Mencia. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of untested material that wouldn't be acceptable at an open mike at Ralph's.

Because we are hard you will not like us. But the more you hate us the more you will learn. We are hard but we are fair. There is no comedic form bigotry here. We do not look down on stand-up comics, improv troupes, video-taped sketches or wacky comedy duos. Here you are all equally worthless. And our orders are to weed out all unfunny hacks who do not pack the gear to serve in our beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?

Now, then:

The Los Angeles Comedy Festival is launching May 10-20, 2007. Sister festival to the annual LA Fest of Sketch Comedy (LAFS), which is entering its 6th year, the Los Angeles Comedy Festival will embrace all things funny; standup, improv, sketch, comedy duos, alternative, music comedy, solo shows, video, animation and more.

Last year’s LAFS was a great success, featuring forty sketch comedy groups from LA and around the country, lots of fun, performer networking, sold out shows and killer comedy. The industry came out in force with attendance by ABC, CBS, NBC, HBO, COMEDY CENTRAL, BRAVO, MTV, DISNEY, NATIONAL LAMPOON, CURRENT TV, JIB JAB, U.S. COMEDY ARTS FESTIVAL, and many production companies, agents, managers and more.

Expanding on that success, the producers felt it was time to start a second festival. “It’s always been planned as our next big thing.” explained Lawrin Goulston Salazar, executive producer of LAFS and the Los Angeles Comedy Festival. “The industry enjoys scouting in a festival setting. There are so many talented comedy performers that we’re excited to showcase. We love doing this.”

Applications are available online at Early deadline is March 12, late deadline is March 23.

Your Weekend Of Settling Into That Painful Relationship After An Ill-Advised Valentine's Day Hookup, Summarized!

Che JesusFriday: While we rarely recommend spending a night indoors, tonight we wouldn't fault you for tuning to the premiere of Maria Bamford's brand new Comedy Central Presents half-hour special. (10:30pm, free, unless you count having to pay for cable and the cost of electricity during the half-hour stretch, and even then, the cost is quite minimal) If you're too hopped up on goofballs to sit inside, or have the awesome magical power of TiVo at your disposal, watch "Knife Fight" and "Engagement Party" showcase their ability to harness and control the righteous beast that is Longform Improv over at The Westside Eclectic. (10:30pm, $10)

Saturday: See Andy Kindler give the Rule of Three a warmhearted bitch slap at the Improv in back-to-back shows. (8pm and 10pm, $18) Recommending The Dirtiest Sketch in LA Contest, hosted by Amanda Egge and disgruntled Sprint worker Michael Busch, is kind of like recommending a cock fight, which is to say, while we personally think it's wonderful, we also realize that everyone isn't as sick in the head as we are. (midnight, $5)

Sunday: For the high-fallutin' types, or the folks who get out of bed before noon on a Sunday morning -- in other words, everyone who didn't view awful, dirty sketches the night before -- head over to the Steve Allen Theatre for a lecture about the use of blasphemy in "South Park" by David Koepsell. (11am, $6) Tarik Davis, Colton Dunn and a white guy join special black guests for a Black History Month extravaganza at the UCB. (9:30pm, $5) And finally, if you're like us, and you've had just about enough of the smarmy intelligent, planned-out brand of "humor" that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert practice, then tune into Fox News for "The 1/2 Hour News Hour". The only question we have is if we can use the Sports Guy's Unintentional Humor Scale for this, since it's actually trying to be funny. (10pm, your soul)

Morgan Murphy Needs Your Assistance In The Future!

Mustauched Murphy

Morgan Murphy, the comic behind our official favorite joke of 2006, has a quite-reasonable request for all you comic-hounds.

From AST:

i will be recording a compact disc of humor. where? at Largo, on tuesday, march 27th. that date is far away, but who really cares? i understand that this coincides with cdr, and is located in the now defunct city of west hollywood, but i pride myself on self-sabotage. if you would like to hear me tell 47 minutes of "pre-told" jokes, and be surprised by surprise guests, call 323-852-1073.

We're going to hazard a guess here that sometime during the 47 minutes Morgan will tell the afore-mentioned Favorite Joke of 2006, which is, in our opinion, worth the price of admission alone. As long as the admission is, according to our Joke Calculator, less than or equal to $57.79.

Video of the Moment: Seth Morris Would Take A Bullet For PC

Seth Morris, the artistic director over at UCB-LA, seems to be onscreen every time we turn on the magical picture box these days. In the newest spot on his reel -- see, we can hang when people in "the industry" start using their fancy lingo -- Morris is PC's fanatical bodyguard in the latest Hodgman vs. Long MAC ad:

We first saw this last week during a commercial break for the Daily Show which was, coincidentally enough, the episode when Bill Gates plugged Microsoft's new Vista operating system, the product being mocked in the ad. Perhaps this "timely advertising" by Mac was the real reason behind his abrupt departure and subsequent assholery on the show.

Mad TV recruits YouTuber 

Apparently Time was right.

The YouTube generation continues its unstoppable uprising today with the news that Lisa Nova has signed on as a cast member in the long-running sketch show Mad TV. Nova has been broadcasting short sketches of herself over at YouTube for the past 7 months, and has gotten quite the following. What kind of following you say? Her below thank-you video is just about to creep over the 100,000 mark for times viewed.

Head over to her website to check out some of her funnier, less thankful videos.