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Your Weekend of Red-Blooded American Fun, Summarized

Man-hogFriday: The UCB's Stand-Up Spotlight has Michelle Biloon doing a spankin' hot 30-minute set. (8:00pm, $5) Troop!, Sketch Armstrong, 11th Hour, and Mail Order Comedy settle their differences through the power of sketch at the Comedy Cocktail. (8:00pm, $20) The special Groundhog's Day edition of The Fake Show wonders if Rick Overton, Taylor Negron, Martha Kelly, and Maria Bamford will see their shadow. (9:00pm, $5)

Saturday: While the following show titles are censored, we have a feeling you'll get your fill of cursing. First up, we have Sean Conroy, Nikki Glaser, Jackie Kashian and more at the Live Show. (10:00pm, $10) Dr. Cocky Muther F'r and Mister Aidsnotfunny (Matts Besser and Walsh) rape some purses and salute GG Allin in their monthly visual arts showcase, F'd Up & Illegal Videos at the UCB. (midnight, $5)

Sunday: Some kind of sporting event.

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