The Apiary

Advertisement


Advertise on the NYC BlogAds Network.

Contact

theapiary@gmail.com

About
Meta
Syndicate this site (XML)

Site built and designed by Bathrobewarrior.com

Logo designed by Tim Bierbaum

Search
Video of the Day
Eleven Heads on 11/11 | Koren Ensemble
Fanatical About

Entries in Online Dating (1)

Thursday
Jun032010

Al Gore’s Online Dating Profile

By: Meghan O'Keefe

It's tough for anyone out there in the dating scene, let alone Al Gore.  After 45 years of being with the same woman, our former Vice President is jumping back feet first into the dating scene... at least, if this online dating profile we found is any indication.

User Name: GoreTech3000

Sex: Male

Age: 62

Star Sign: Aries

Interested in: Women

Looking for: Friendship, Hook-ups, Dating, NSA, Perhaps another 40-year Marriage

Relationship Status: Single for the first time in half a century

Have Kids: Several

Ethnicity: Really White, Caucasian

Body Type: Curvy

Religion: Only Mentioned During Campaign Years

Smoke: Causes Global Warning

Drink: Only the Blood of Children in Secret Illuminati Meetings

Pets: Iggy, my pet iguana, hangs out on my shoulder pretty much all the time when I'm at home. Must love iguanas!

About Me: Politician. Activist. Journalist. Veteran. Father. Harvard Alum. Grammy-award winner…All these titles could apply to me. I feel like although I have led a wonderful life, certain things have been missing.  Namely, an appreciation for rap music, sexual promiscuity and the United States presidency.  To amend this I have a three step plan: 1) Buy the soundtrack to the Motion Picture Save the Last Dance to augment my understanding of urban music 2) Take you out to a tasteful vegan dinner followed by a night of discreet lovemaking at a four star hotel and 3) Save the world by challenging Sarah Palin in the 2012 election.   

Likes:  Environmentalism; Surfing my invention, "the internet"; Winning Nobel Peace Prizes I actually earned; Telling everyone “I told you so”

Dislikes: Injustice; When people get "snippy"; Recounts; Jill Zarin (she's just so gosh darn annoying!)

Why You Should Date Me: If you like "dirty talk" in the bedroom, I will gladly tell you how you've been very naughty and how your careless behavior has endangered the environment.