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News of the World

--Since most Apiary readers connect to their Motorola RAZR flip-phones via Bluetooth headset, you'll be happy to hear that popular earpiece manufacturer Jawbone is giving away 10 THOUSAND DOLLARS if you make a funny video and follow all of their rules.

--Looking to get a nice Chevy Chase face tattoo? Here's a design for you.

--The tone on the Aziz Ansari thread on AST is trending towards sour as Ansari reaches the uppermost echelon of the showbiz food chain.  One user complains about his show, "Tickets for Aziz are a recession-busting $49.50 with a $15 Service fee added to that." Another fan bemoans, "I first fell in love with Aziz when I heard his track on Invite Them Up like 4 years ago. And when you love something that is kind of small and relatively unknown like that I think it's natural to sort of feel extra connected to it and feel like it's 'yours.' And him hosting the MTV awards is the biggest sign yet that he's no longer 'mine' and is now 'everyone's,' which bums me out."

--Comedy Central has a hit on their hands with Ugly Americans. The network has ordered up 7 additional episodes.

--Because we have zero understanding of what's happening from scene to scene, we are grateful that Videogum's hilarious LOST recaps help us make sense of it.

--BIRTHDAY PARTEEZ: Sue Galloway and Zach Ward advance one additional year in age this week and Achilles Stamatelaky's blog is now 2.

--Get your limited edition Splinterheads "Deep Sixed" movie poster featuring The Amazing Steve & Wyoming today!

--Go see Moshe Kasher while he's in town. His speedy standup set at Union Hall this past Sunday was so fiery, our eyebrows got cinged to the point that our facial expression is now one of permanent surprise.  We hear he's in NY to pitch some kind of book.  Keep a watch on this guy!