The Apiary

Advertisement


Advertise on the NYC BlogAds Network.

Contact

theapiary@gmail.com

About
Meta
Syndicate this site (XML)

Site built and designed by Bathrobewarrior.com

Logo designed by Tim Bierbaum

Search
Video of the Day
Eleven Heads on 11/11 | Koren Ensemble
Fanatical About

Entries in David Angelo (4)

Tuesday
Mar162010

Tell David Angelo's Jokes and Win $500 Dollars

David Angelo, Time Out's 2009 Joke of the Year winner, announced a curious contest today called Codename Joke -- he's challenging the world to tell his zingers, and whoever can do it the best will be rolling in $$$. Press release!

NEW YORK, NY., March 15 2010 -- Comedian David Angelo couldn't get these jokes to work, but he's hoping you can. Angelo is sponsoring the "1st Annual CodeName: Joke" comedy competition, challenging people from all over the country to "make hilarious" some of his less-successful jokes. The contest is currently accepting video submissions through May 31st. Finalists will have their videos displayed on the CodeName: Joke website, where the general public will vote for one (1) Grand Prize Winner who will receive FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS in cash.

For complete rules and regulations as well as a couple of inspirational sample videos, go to www.CodeNameJoke.com.

Wednesday
Feb102010

Should These Toyota Jokes Be Recalled?

Toyota made 8.5 million cars with faulty floor mats and now we're going to hear Toyota jokes for the rest of our lives! Can't we just burn all their factories to the ground instead?? Some jokes we've seen have been pretty good, but many have been not so good. We picked out a few of the more questionable one-liners we've encountered on Twitter and asked David Angelo, Time Out's 2009 Joke of the Year winner, to comment on them.

"I just bought a new car and I'm really excited. A 2010 Toyota Recall. It gets 30 miles to the gallon, but it's made out of legos and C4." - @hodgesmusic

Legos and C4 sound pretty unsafe!  If you wanted to heighten that even further, you could say "it's made out of auto parts manufactured in America."

 

"Toyota (acronym) This One You Oughta Tow Away." - @vizmagnafarta

I like any acronym joke that hints at someone gesticulating with their thumb to indicate what is being discussed.

 

"Will the toyota ceo commit hiri kiri?" - @adamjlovell

Dude, that's a stereotype.  He'll probably just put on a kimono, drink some tea, and prune his bonsai!  The CEO is a smart guy.  He drives a Honda!

 

"Toyota - Putting the "liability" in "reliability."" - @standupfalldown

Seriously!  I told the dealer my Camry smashed through the garage into my living room.  He just shook his head and said "them's the brakes!" (See, I can do it worse than anyone!)

 

"Are you sure OJ was driving a Bronco? Sounds a lot like a Toyota..." - @sucittaM

Nice visual, but your OJ reference is about 5 years too late.

 

 

"I hope Toyota doesn't make parts for Hoveround." - @sircamels

No idea what Hoveround is.  Sounds like an english cracker - in which case I'm sure Mitsubishi makes all the parts.

 

"The unstoppable force and immovable object has been updated. Now known as the Toyota and the crushed Haitian." - @kwaig

Look, it's fine to make fun of Toyota.  That's just another iteration of our historic Yellow Peril fears.  But we've only just begun to lay the groundwork for institutionalizing our racism towards Caribbean refugees.  Don't ruin this for us, kwaig!  Play it cool for a few more weeks!

 

"Complaints about steering problems with Toyota Corollas. (Cars pull to right when Rush is on the radio & to the left when NPR is on?)." - @jhillery

I'm pretty sure it's a standard feature that all Prius' will convert Rush Limbaugh's voice into tracks from David Crosby's solo album "If I Could Only Remember My Name" - which had his name printed right on the jacket, for chrissake.  Stephen Stills never pulled that bullshit.

Has anyone considered that Toyota owners are just shitty drivers? Good night, New York, wherever you are!

Know any good ones?

Tuesday
Jan192010

David Angelo Nabs TONY'S 2009 Joke of the Year

David Angelo beat off eight of the country's best jokesmiths to win Time Out New York's 2009 Joke of the Year prize with this zinger:

"I went to a Turkish bath recently. It’s a lot like a regular bath except it doesn’t recognize the Armenian genocide."

Supporters of David as well as several detractors flooded TONY's online poll and comments page in what we're told was a landslide victory for the comic.

PREVIOUS TONY JOTY WINNERS

Monday
Dec142009

The Honey Shot

David Angelo | Photo: Merritt Gurley

Wanna plug? E-mail me photo & credit. And join our flickr group. Send 10 days in advance.