The Apiary

Toyota made 8.5 million cars with faulty floor mats and now we're going to hear Toyota jokes for the rest of our lives! Can't we just burn all their factories to the ground instead?? Some jokes we've seen have been pretty good, but many have been not so good. We picked out a few of the more questionable one-liners we've encountered on Twitter and asked David Angelo, Time Out's 2009 Joke of the Year winner, to comment on them.

"I just bought a new car and I'm really excited. A 2010 Toyota Recall. It gets 30 miles to the gallon, but it's made out of legos and C4." - @hodgesmusic

Legos and C4 sound pretty unsafe!  If you wanted to heighten that even further, you could say "it's made out of auto parts manufactured in America."

"Toyota (acronym) This One You Oughta Tow Away." - @vizmagnafarta

I like any acronym joke that hints at someone gesticulating with their thumb to indicate what is being discussed.

"Will the toyota ceo commit hiri kiri?" - @adamjlovell

Dude, that's a stereotype.  He'll probably just put on a kimono, drink some tea, and prune his bonsai!  The CEO is a smart guy.  He drives a Honda!

"Toyota - Putting the "liability" in "reliability."" - @standupfalldown

Seriously!  I told the dealer my Camry smashed through the garage into my living room.  He just shook his head and said "them's the brakes!" (See, I can do it worse than anyone!)

"Are you sure OJ was driving a Bronco? Sounds a lot like a Toyota..." - @sucittaM

Nice visual, but your OJ reference is about 5 years too late.

"I hope Toyota doesn't make parts for Hoveround." - @sircamels

No idea what Hoveround is.  Sounds like an english cracker - in which case I'm sure Mitsubishi makes all the parts.

"The unstoppable force and immovable object has been updated. Now known as the Toyota and the crushed Haitian." - @kwaig

Look, it's fine to make fun of Toyota.  That's just another iteration of our historic Yellow Peril fears.  But we've only just begun to lay the groundwork for institutionalizing our racism towards Caribbean refugees.  Don't ruin this for us, kwaig!  Play it cool for a few more weeks!

"Complaints about steering problems with Toyota Corollas. (Cars pull to right when Rush is on the radio & to the left when NPR is on?)." - @jhillery

I'm pretty sure it's a standard feature that all Prius' will convert Rush Limbaugh's voice into tracks from David Crosby's solo album "If I Could Only Remember My Name" - which had his name printed right on the jacket, for chrissake.  Stephen Stills never pulled that bullshit.

Has anyone considered that Toyota owners are just shitty drivers? Good night, New York, wherever you are!

Know any good ones?