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No Olympics for Chicago, but Cannonball DeWitt's Dreams Live On

Even though some of us here in Chicago are actually quite pleased with the elimination of Chicago from the Olympics bid (possibly staving off the inevitable demolition of historic buildings and the displacement of economically-challenged neighborhoods being two reasons, in addition to the usual reasons related to over-taxation, inconvenience, political shenanigans, etc. and so forth), Bryan Bowden endeavors to make us feel better about our loser status on the global stage, with this video series starring Andrew "Cannonball" DeWitt and Tammy Connors as Olympic hopefuls, created way back when the Chicago Olympics were just a twinkle in Mayor King Daley's eye.

Buck Up, Chicago!, by Bryan Bowden

I know you didn't get the Olympics. You went all out, and even sent over your black friends to show how cool you are. Instead, it went to a city filled with gorgeous physically fit people, and perpetual summer. Here's Rio this past Friday, and here is Chicago this past Friday. Rio is still wearing bikinis and looks like it would celebrate even if the Olympic committee announced it was canceling the Olympics forever. If I were in Rio, I would be playing soccer on the beach to kill time before going to the dance hall so I could have a good night's sleep covered in a blanket of well shaved women in tangas. Meanwhile, Chicago is gray, rainy, and ready for a nap.

I've been wholeheartedly lukewarm to Chicago's Olympic bid. As I said on Twitter, "Maybe now Mayor Daley can focus on getting the citizens of Chicago bread instead of circuses."

Yeah, that's right! I just blogged a quote from my microblog. And that's why Chicago can't have the Olympics because of craziness like that. Wait! I was trying to cheer you up. Yikes! Messed that up. Ok, here's some Chicago 2016 comedy sketches. Because we might not have the Olympics, sunshine, or gorgeous people, but we still have the world's best comedy.

Part I:

Part II:

--Kristy Mangel

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Reader Comments (3)

It sounds like you were one of the people cheering at that Americans for Prosperity meeting...

October 6, 2009 | Registered CommenterThe Apiary

I had to look up the word "tangas," so thanks for the vocab boost, Mr. Bowden!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth McQuern

The people at the Americans for Prosperity meeting were conservatives cheering for a perceived Obama failure which is not what I was doing. I'm not doing any cheering for anything. I'm too tired from all this deep dish pizza.

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBryan Bowden

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