Party Foul: Thousands of Distraught Revelers Turned Away From Onion Holiday Mixer

Several upended readers--WITH NOWHERE TO TURN--have forwarded in an email they received today from a systems analyst at The Onion which states:

Hi. Sorry to bother you and apologize in advance for any awkwardness, but it has come to our attention that the invitation to the private Onion Holiday Charity Party was erroneously reposted on some blog sites (like Brooklyn Vegan) and has been forwarded on to friends of friends of friends.

Would you be so kind as to remind me from whom at the Onion you got your invite?

Thank you and we apologize in advance if it turns out your were mistakenly invited as a result and...um...hmmm...not really on the invite list.

Best and Happy Holidays,

Glenn
The Onion

Not a big deal if you know a guy, but what about poor JOHNNY CHARITYGIVER and SALLY COMEDYFAN who noted that the alleged private party was being publicly advertised as a charity event on 826NYC's website in conjunction with the graphic below? Will they be left out on the cold, dangerous Park Slope streets this Saturday too?

Comments

[pokey]

i found it on 826 last night. i'm pissed. i have a bocce league game and everything!

[Billy Reno]

The party for The Comical was waaaayyy better anyhoo.

[T. Herman Zweibel]

Egg nog doesn't grow on trees.

[c$]

What pisses me off most is that if they'd just taken care to not overbook the room in the first place (which I'm assuming is the problem), they wouldn't have to do all this back-pedaling and uninviting. I would have much rather received an email saying "Sorry, we're full" than the succession of "You're on the list! Wait...NO YOU'RE NOT." emails I did get. Not cool, the Onion.

[Heather]

Whatever, who needs the Onion Holiday Party? Don't y'all know that the Gay Porn Expo is in town that night? Puck building. Make new friends.

[Confused]

The Onion's having a party and they say that they're giving a donation from that party to an awesome charity. It appears that they overextended their invitation. And now the space is full. I'm not sure why you have to make it seem (in your post) like anyone's screwing with comedy fans or charity supporters. The Onion guy's e-mails were totally weird, but other than that, I don't see anyone to blame. Certainly not a bunch of people in Park Slope who help kids with their writing and their homework.

[MD525]

What I really think they should do is to have a separate charity function with the same or similar acts which would be open to the public and namely those who rsvp'ed to have first shot at tickets. Not only would this be a brilliant PR move to cover up their having to send out uninvites but it would also raise more money for charity.It never fails to astonish how companies can let something out with out the proper channels protected. I mean they could have done any number of things to prevent this. Secure the invite with software so it can't be shot around or include verbage so people knew it was a private party

[channelbunny]

Uninvited Hipsters Declare "I Totally Wasn't Coming Anyway"

[anony mouse]

E-mails to a private party were forwarded by the folks who were invitied to those who weren't.

What's wrong with saying, "You weren't invited so you aren't on the RSVP list?"

That guy from the Onion was being extremely tactful.

[SuckSomeOnions]

Calm down, it's a holiday party, not a ticket to meet Jesus. You can see any of those schmucks hanging out in bars on any given night.

[ptkake]

I so totally met Jesus at my local pub this past Sat.!Seems really nice. Just a little too "touchy-feely" for my taste, thou.

[Getadayjob]

It's AWFUL that The Onion is throwing a private charity party! What assholes! The whole holiday spirit of crashing parties and bitching about "the Man" is ruined. I quit.

[Jesus]

826NYC's website says that the event was sold out a long time ago as does the Brooklyn Vegan. 826NYC's site was updated on 12/6...so stop your sour onion bashing and find another private event to crash this weekend, blend in to someone's family reunion or another company's office party (pretend to be Jerry from accounting). See the update from 826NYC below in case you don't know how to use the web to find it on your own:UPDATE (12/6/06): Unfortunately, this event is sold out. Please do not email the address above. Thank you again to The Onion and everyone who RSVPd�it should be a great night.

[Fart Buttons]

Boo-Hoo, a bunch of awkward comedy nerds can't stand around and gawk at people funnier than they are. If I worked for the Onion, I'd be totally pissed if a bunch of random dipshits showed up to my holiday party and drank all my fuckin' nog. Go find your own party...your own pity party! BAM!

[Libbs]

It's not a private party! 826 was advertising it!

[Billy Reno]

You want a party? This is a call for all female comics (including myself) to wait outside P.J. Clarke's for the Jan. (?!) Vanity Fair Holiday party and crucify that hack Christopher Hitchens for that crap article "Why Women Aren't Funny". He's the one who looks like Greg Kinnear with Downs Syndrome. Fa la la la!

[Christopher Hitchens]

duuh'I heard that.

[Carolyn]

The Vanity Fair party is at P.J. Clarke's? Hahahahahahahaha...