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« Friday, June 24, 2005 at 10:33 AM | Main | Gayest Variety Show Ever Tonight! »
Thursday
Jun232005

The ECNY Nominees for Best Host of a Variety Show Speak!

The Emerging Comics of New York Awards Ceremony is TODAY. It has been talked about for weeks and enthusiasm is running high. In order to get a better look at the JEALOUS RIVALRIES and the BACKSTAGE PILLOWFIGHTING, The Apiary asked the nominees of the Best Host of a Variety Show or Comedic Event the following tough question:

Are you confident you will destroy the competition and take home the ultimate prize?

Jon Friedman of The Rejection Show responds:
I'd like to create an ECNY mascot named "Emergy," The Emerging Emergency Ambulance Driver. He drives a small ambulance and tells jokes to the emergency patients while he's driving them to the hospital. But not full scale hilarious jokes more like decent jokes that have potential. The other nominees in the "Best Host" category are my friends. They all taught me how to "introduce" and "wrap it up." Those are hosting terms. I think we're all going to tie.

James Eason of the Improv Honk Show issues a statement:
Mr. Eason is proud to be included with such a talented group of Hosts/Performers. He feels that all are equally deserving of the award. He would be honored to receive the award and would place the trophy in a place of prominence in his apartment. He wishes that his computer had a 'sarcasm' button. (Dictated but not read)

Justin Purnell of School Night shouts:
Oh yeah, i've DEFINITELY got that locked down. There's NO WAY i'm list filler for a second year for Nick and Jessi or Jon. I just can't wait to cash in... ecny groupies ahoy!

Nick Kroll of Welcome to Our Week says:
I'm confident that I will take home "the ultimate prize". For me, that prize is getting fellated backstage by my fellow nominees. Whether I win the award or not is secondary to them sucking on my googly sack.

Bob Powers of How to Kick People writes:
If by "ultimate prize" you mean "eternal life," then no, Todd and I are not confident that we will take home the ultimate prize. If by "destroy the competition" you mean "physically beat the living shit out of the competition, either before, during, or after the awards ceremony," then yes, Todd and I are confident that we will beat down every last competing Host of a Variety Show or Comedic Event until they are bloody and weeping. Especially that little faggot Nick Kroll. Dear God how we hate that little faggot Nick Kroll.

Good luck to all!

Reader Comments (1)

Fun show, but it went on waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long.Whitest Kids U Know kept it short and funny with their bits.

And Pearl Brunswick was robbed of their award. WTF?
June 23, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterFelice

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