I understand you don't make sounds in airplanes anymore because of all the federal regulations.
Oh, no. The flight attendant-call button is such a wonderful noise. Jonathan Winters taught me how to do that one, actually. We were on the same flight one time. So it was his fault.

Now that I think about it, Jonathan Winters makes lots of sounds in his standup.
Yeah, so did Cosby in the very early days. With "Go Carts" and "Chicken Heart."

Has technology changed the way you go about recording your sounds?
It has, but I've always been fond of my phrase that technology has had to catch up to me. Though it appears to have done so. I'm always paying attention to all things digital nowadays, but analog is still there. But that one little digital signal can educate as well as entertain. I learned that from George Martin from The Beatles, the producer--because Paul McCartney once said George told him: "It's not what you do with all the notes, it's what you do with one note at a time. You can deal with all of them eventually, but you've got to make sure the original is pure--it's got to be clear." But now that things are podcast and we've finally caught up to the other part of the world where we can actually watch TV on your phones--that where the digital signal's going to go, and I have to make sure I'll be able to make noises for everybody.

Have you ever met McCartney?
No, but one day I hope to--that'd be great. What I'd really like to do is do Led Zeppelin for Led Zeppelin. I'd like to do some guitar noises for Jimmy Page to see what he thinks. But I did get to do that once with Eddie Van Halen, which was a lot of fun. Years ago, Eddie had his beautiful Kramer guitar and a stack of amps and I had a microphone and a stack of amps...

So you two jammed?
Yeah, we jammed. It was loud. It was cool. The audience loved it.

Is your bread and butter making sound effects as background noises?
It's starting to become that now. I've been all over the place, you know, because sound has no language barrier. The travel part is cool, but nothing's better than making film. I have one playing now called "Lenny the Wonder Dog." It's a much more kid-friendly version than what I had planned. I was going more for Robocop with a dog. But I've done some stuff for the Universal Studios Terminator ride. It's the 3-D ride with these mean little flying saucers. I got the chance to do all the little flying saucer rides.

When you were filming Police Academy did you have any idea how big it would become?
Not really. I had great feelings for it and about it. There was always hope, you know. I was really hoping it'd be good.

All actors want is to get booked, which you've managed to do for 20 years. What's your secret?
I hope they know acting thing is not for the faint of heart or faint of stomach. It's rough. It's a serious profession and I realize folks are serious about wanting to do this, but they need skills. And to develop a connections list. Seriously, kids, develop a network. Work with folks and get yourself a database of folks. That's how things get done. And until recently I've had 10 thumbs with computers and stuff but I'm getting better at it.

You made the sounds for the lead bad gremlin, "Stripe," in "Gremlins."
I have people get mad at me, telling me that when they couldn't sleep because of me.

That movie was kinda scary.
And you couldn't sleep either. I'm sorry about that.

But I was very fond of that movie. Especially when all the bad gremlins get killed.
Yeah. It was really mean of them to throw Gizmo down the garbage chute.

I remember laughing so hard the first time I saw the Kung Fu fight scene in Police Academy 2. My friends and I played it back numerous times on the VCR. Was that scene your idea?
Yeah. It was one of those things I submitted and I was hoping that the director--the late Jerry Paris--would like it. You remember Jerry? He used to be Jerry the dentist, the next-door neighbor, on The Dick Van Dyke Show and he directed a lot of Happy Days episodes, all kinds of stuff. But I remember he was asking me what we could do, and I kept describing this thing to him and they ended up putting it in there. The first time we did it, it didn't quite turn out right. It just didn't have the right feel to it. But then we took a break, came back and tried it again and got some help in there with some great stunt people. And it turned out really well. There were some things they wouldn't let me do because of insurance.

Like what?
They wouldn't let me jump over a barbed-wire fence. They said, "You can go up and you can come down, but you cannot go over. That's dangerous stuff. We don't want to lose our insurance bond." But it turned out great and to go on and on. What can I say? It's my sense of humor -- I love Kung Fu movies. I'm just so sad Jet Li won't be making any more wushu. And I miss Sammo Hung, too. I loved that TV series. You know, I would've loved to have taken that series after Arsenio split. I love Sammo Hung, man. He was in a lot of Jackie Chan's movies.

Oh, the other thing I wanted to let you know about is a strange little film where they hired me to do all the hit noises for this martial-arts film. All the smack noises, all the weapons, all the fighting and voices. Everything. The title is Ninjas vs. Pirates. Pirates and ninjas -- two of the biggest cult followings... there are huge conventions for both. The MegaCon in Orlando is one of them. But "Ninjas vs. Pirates" is a little, cheap film but you'd be surprised at the ingenuity in there. And when you put noises to it, it's amazing how the characters change. Especially when you have great sound (laughs).

LISTEN: Ninjas vs. Pirates

I know you're a big fan of music. One of your first jobs was opening for Count Basie and His Orchestra.
It kind of happened like a big blur -- I remember that much. It was one of those things where your heart's in your throat the whole time. I don't even know how to describe it ... I remember there were some audio problems at the venue and I ended up also keeping certain sounds going. So I ended up using part of my little sound system to help bolster Count Basie.

Did he say anything to you? Did he like what you did?
Luckily for me the, producer and director of Police Academy were in the audience, and they got to come backstage and meet with Count Basie for a couple of minutes. And he told them, "You take care of this young man." And I never got a chance to thank him for that.

And that was your big break.
Yeah, they ended up writing me into the picture.

That was Hugh Wilson, right?
Yes, he created WKRP in Cincinnati. That was his first feature. He must have learned something because he went on to do Guarding Tess and First Wives' Club.

Is there going to be a Police Academy 8?
They're working on it. If Bubba's gonna do, I can't leave Bubba behind. I'd really love to see them get that going. I'd love to see that happen. I also shot a small scene in a new movie coming out with Colin Hanks, Tom Hanks and John Malkovich. It's called The Great Buck Howard. I did one quick scene. Oh, and Gary Coleman was in it, too. So who knows what's gonna happen. Who knows how they're gonna cut that. But that was intense. But Colin and John Malkovich in the same scene. And there's Coleman being Coleman. All right, great. What a wild film. Colin's real cool. He's a good kid. You gotta appreciate whatever opportunities you're given. And Gary's funny. He should try standup himself. I have not seen him try that. That'd actually be funny.

Keith Huang is a regular contributor to The Apiary, Gelf Magazine and Improv Is Good for You.

BONUS: Just before wrapping things up, we asked Winslow for a shoutout. This is what he came up with.