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From Behind the Bar at The UCBT - II - By: Margot Leitman

After working at the UCB Theatre bar for almost three years, I've discovered that I have an endless amount of stories to tell. The job was offered to me a while back because I needed a little extra income as my relationship with the UCB theatre community was growing. I've appreciated my experiences working behind the bar at UCB as much as my experiences performing there. Here are some tales I thought I'd share with you this time around.

This one time a very well-known and very attractive comedian was in town and made an appearance in a UCB show. He literally walked off stage, walked up to me at the bar, introduced himself to me and said, "I'm going out right now to get a drink, how about you come?" I said, "I can't, I'm working." He asked until when and I told him about midnight (it was around 8:15 at the time). He responded, "You want me to wait?" I said, "No, that's a really long time to wait. You don't have to wait four hours at a bar for me just to grab one drink." Then I realized, Ooh, he's talking about sex! He wants me to meet him after I get off work to have sex with him! Wow! I am being thoroughly propositioned. There was a long awkward pause as he stared intently at me, wondering if I understood what he was really saying. He was so hot and confident that I uncontrollably and almost robotically handed him my phone number. Although I had no intention of meeting up with him or sleeping with him, I was impressed with his technique and thought it at least warranted a phone number. When I'm working it's usually cute, awkward, kind of dorky guys that hit on me. But something about his fearlessness--walk off stage, walk up to bartender, ask her out immediately... really appealed to me. He acted like a rock star, and I understood why comedians now have groupies as well. The most I've ever gotten was a bouquet of red roses and an e-mail saying he was in love with me, from an awkward seventeen year old who came to see my one person show many, many times. This guy walks off stage and gets laid. Awesome.

Comedians as Rock Stars
I've worked some shows where some very big names in comedy perform. I'm very used to it, and a lot of times I end up having great conversations with them, probably because they all remember having their survival jobs as well. One night David Cross was performing and he came over to the bar to get a drink and we ended up chatting for a bit. He walked away and then I turned my back to refill something. When I turned back around a part of the cash register was missing (the sheet where we scan the merchandise). I was confused as to where it had gone and then remembered that a fan had been lingering behind David the entire time we were talking. Cross had been leaning on the sheet and the only conclusion I could come to was that the lingering fan had waited until I turned my back to grab the sheet that Cross had touched. The fan just wanted to own something that had been touched by David Cross. As extreme as I thought that was when it happened I realized how significant comedy is to our generation. My parents own crushed up brick dust from one of the bricks that constructed the Beatles original rehearsal space. They paid a lot of money because they believed it embodied the sounds and history that was made in that space. To this kind of obsessive fan, David Cross was his version of the Beatles, and that scan sheet that he touched somehow possessed comedy genius and history. The icons of comedy have become just as important as rock stars.

The Family
Throughout the years I have worked at UCB, I have developed some close relationships with the other people that work there. The people that make that place work: the interns the managers, the technicians, the other bartenders. One night we were closing up and one of my all time favorite interns came running into the box office saying, "Guys, Oh my God! I just found a whole cake in the audience!" The house manager made an executive decision--"Well, let's slice that shit up!" I, being the only female working as usual, took the motherly role, and grabbed a plastic knife and served slices to all the guys on paper towels. While chowing down with my bare hands I said to the guys, "This is what working here with all you dudes has done to me. I used to be a lady! I used to style my hair, watch what I ate, appreciate the finer things in life. Now I'm slicing up some stranger's mystery cake with a plastic knife in the basement of Gristedes. And strangely I'm perfectly happy." Often at work I feel like the Marilu Henner character on "Taxi." I'm the only woman surrounded by a nutty cast of characters who I work with and have grown to adore. And I am seriously trying to listen when they discuss their video games in depth with me, I really am.

You can see Margot live and away from the bar this Wednesday in her new show, co-hosted by Giulia Rozzi, Stripped Stories -- a monthly storytelling show featuring true sex stories on a theme. This month: embarrassing sex. With: Adam Wade, Reggie Watts and make-up artist Adriana Lomysh. Wed. Jan. 3 at 9PM at Mo Pitkins, Ave A and 3rd. FREE!

From Behind the Bar of the UCBT - I

Reader Comments (5)

Another great installment! Can't wait for the next one!
January 2, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterpatrick
So, just to assuage my journalistic insight, was the free cake a supermarket cake from Gristedes that someone might have purchased out of ironic boredom while waiting to get into a show and then left behind?

Or was it a lazy cake delivery guy? Or what?
January 2, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJack
I have it on good authority that the hot, good looking comedian who hit on her was Pauly Shore
January 2, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterPauly Shore
I have a feeling that the cake was left by Cake Face...
January 2, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterchuck mcmahon
Please tell me it was the ´┐Żbergorgeous Dane Cook that hit on you!...or Eugene Mirman?
January 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBilly Reno

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