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By: Baron Vaughn »
December 4, 2006
Liam McEneaney Prepares For Driver's License Test
On the eve of one of the toughest challenges Liam McEneaney might ever face--his driver's license road exam--a nervous Liam speaks out about his driving motives in this EXCLUSIVE interview.
Why driving? Why now??
This is true: I promised some circus clowns I was drinking with late at a bar in Midtown that I would learn how to drive by the end of 2006. The conversation went from me making fun of the small cars they all pile out of (they had shown up, five of them, in a Volkswagen Rabbit. They didn't see the humour in the fact that they all drove around together in the smallest car possible), to me admitting that I had never driven a car.
They felt so bad for me that they told me one of the circus' most solemn sworn secrets in exchange for me promising I would learn how to drive by the end of the year. They told me a gypsy curse they would put on me if they ever found out I lied. They also taught me the trick to juggling chainsaws as a way of showing how easy it was to overcome something dangerous, which I can now do although I frankly choose not to. When you have five circus clowns rooting for you like that, how can you not at least try?
Where do you plan on going once you have your license?
Your town, America. Get ready for, if not a Tourgasm, then at least a Pre-hack-ulation. Here's a question for The Apiary's readers, and I am genuinely curious to hear your honest answers in the comment box below: How many of you found this interesting? I can barely bear to take interest in the details of Liam McEneaney's life, and I'm actually Liam McEneaney.
It's not a comedy exam, Liam--it's a driving exam! Photo by: Brandy For Sale
Wish Liam good luck in person at Tell Your Friends, 8PM TONIGHT @ the Lolita Bar.
Posted by The Apiary at December 4, 2006 3:47 PM
Comments
I think that "big" hair and that small sweater make you appear heavier than perhaps you are ... NOT SLIMING!
Posted by: ummm at December 4, 2006 6:10 PM
or slimming, for that matter ...
Posted by: ummm at December 4, 2006 6:12 PM
Sure, the story was boring, Liam, but that won't stop me from advising you to KEEP CHECKING YOUR MIRRORS when you take your road test. Don't let them fail you because you neglected to use both your rear view and oft-overlooked-but-no-less-important side mirrors.
Good luck on your test. And as my old driver's ed teacher told me, "Don't palm the wheel. This isn't a contest to see who can look the coolest. You could kill someone that way."
Posted by: Anthony at December 4, 2006 7:19 PM